3.1 Understanding feelings and behaviour
Understanding young children’s feelings and behaviour increases our capacity to be responsive rather than reactive. We shift from managing children’s behaviour to building and reinforcing children’s own self-regulation strategies.
Barbara Kaiser is an early childhood consultant, author and speaker. In the next video, she proposes that children have an innate right to learn the skills they need to get along in the world and that punishment undermines that.
Managing challenging behaviour
There are times when it can be very hard to respond appropriately to a child. In the next video, Kaiser explains that adults sometimes almost fear certain behaviours from children because they may not know how to respond. She describes these as “button pushers” and recommends some strategies for dealing with these situations and stresses. Kaiser talks about the importance of staying calm and modelling appropriate actions.
Discussions about guiding children must also address the issue of discipline. Dr. Joan Durrant explains that the term discipline is sometimes mistakenly equated with punishment. In the first clip, she discusses the difference between punishment and discipline and how an adult can discipline to enhance a child’s learning, acting as a supportive mentor. In the second clip, she explains the beneficial outcomes when adults guide children positively. Before you watch the videos, think about what the word “discipline” means to you.
Programs supporting emotional learning
Some programs are designed to help parents and educators better understand children’s feelings and behaviours. These programs emphasize practices that enhance a child’s self-regulation and reduce activities that make it hard for children to cope and be competent.
Circle of Security is a prevention and intervention program for parents and caregivers to help understand children’s feelings and behaviours. Dr. Bob Marvin was the principal investigator on the team that developed the Circle of Security. Listen as he describes the approach.
In this next video, Marvin describes the Circle of Repair, a useful strategy for caregivers to support children as they learn to self-regulate their emotions and overcome challenging situations.
How does a focus on helping a child organize their behaviours and feelings contribute to a child’s self-regulation skills?
In the next interview, Rosalie Favreau, a child life specialist at Children’s Hospital in Winnipeg, discusses a challenging situation involving parents who were dishonest with their child about an upcoming surgery.
Favreau talks about honesty being an important component of a trusting relationship. Why do you think this is the case?
What might happen to the attachment relationship if parents are deceptive?
Positive Discipline in Everyday Life (PDEL) is a rights-based, developmentally-appropriate, universal program designed to support parents, caregivers and teachers facing everyday challenges with children. Dr. Joan Durrant, Executive Director of PDEL, introduces the three aims of the program.
PDEL is based on a core set of five building blocks.
The Shanker Self-Reg (Self-Regulation) Method includes five steps: reframe the behaviour, recognize the stressors, reduce the stress, reflect, and respond. Listen to Dr. Stuart Shanker, founder and chief executive officer of The MEHRIT Centre, explain.
The MEHRIT Centre website contains a wealth of information about Shanker’s Self-Reg method including a downloadable toolkit, information sheets, downloadable graphics and more.
Click on the terms in the next activity to review some of the information you have learned this far.
By having a realistic and positive approach to discipline, parents, other caregivers and educators can help support children to develop and strengthen their regulatory systems to cope and be competent. On the next page, you will look at ways to help children have positive relationships with other people.
