5. Positive guidance
On this page we will discuss how adults can support children’s behavior, including challenging behaviours, focusing on positive rather than punitive approaches.
Consider…
Althea has taken her 4-year-old daughter, Beatrice, to visit an old friend with a three-year-old that they haven’t seen for a long time. During the visit, Beatrice, who probably needs a nap, won’t share toys with the other child… Read more- What are your reactions to these examples?
- How do you think the children are feeling in each scenario? How are the adults feeling?
- How would you handle the situation if you were the responsible adult in each scene?
As you can see from the examples above, there are many things to consider in order to interact effectively with young children. One basic concept is how to implement positive guidance principles. Positive guidance is a particular style of interacting with young children. It includes encouraging children to continue with certain behaviours and discouraging less desirable or problematic behaviours. Knowledge of positive guidance is like having a set of tools to support children’s development.
Why is positive guidance important? Have you ever visited somewhere that was new and unknown? Perhaps the customs and language were unfamiliar. Now think about a time you may have been somewhere unfamiliar with the benefit of a guide – someone who knows the ins and outs of the place. In many ways, young children are like visitors who have much to learn about how to behave and interact. Adults can be their guides.
The word “positive” means that our emphasis is on telling, showing and modeling what we want children TO DO rather than saying, “no” and “don’t do that”. It is specific and clear so that children understand the limits and the possibilities. When adults guide young children they are really helping children come to understand the limits of what is acceptable in a wide variety of situations and relationships. Guidance includes: directing, leading, coaching, modelling, redirecting, and explaining.
The next video shows two toddlers who are just learning how to get along with each other.
These children are very young. How does their age affect your expectations?
How could you positively manage situations with them?
The expectations we have of children and how we actually go about guiding an individual child depend greatly on the child’s stage of development and their capabilities. It’s important to remember and understand that young children are just beginning to learn how to cope with strong emotions and are not able to completely control them.
The following video explains.
Thank you to Albilio and Ensemble pour les Petits Enfance for sharing this video.
The next two links provide concise information for all caregivers. The first is a brochure from Abilio, formerly known as the Centre of Excellence for Early Childhood Development (CEECD) and the Centre de Psycho-Éducation du Québec (CPEQ), that reviews key concepts related to teaching and guiding. The second is a reading from Best Start Resource Centre that explains why using time-outs can be problematic and instead explains and recommends time-ins.
What do you think about time-outs?
Have you experienced them as a child? Have you used them with children as an adult? What were the results?
Whether our attempts at guidance are supportive and effective has a lot to do with the way we communicate our expectations. The words and the tone of voice we use are very important. In the next video, Dr. Lillian Katz, Professor Emerita at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, describes her observation that sometimes adults speak in a phony way with children. She suggests ways to communicate more clearly.
See how you do on the following interactive activity, the positive alternative. Try to incorporate Katz’s suggestion to “say it straight”.
Katz goes on to discuss how young children who see themselves as bad or unlikeable need help from adults to change that self-image and their behaviour.
Physical punishment such as spanking is still commonly used by some families. There are no known benefits to physical punishment and many harmful outcomes such as anxiety and mental health problems.
Listen to Dr. Joan Durrant, Child-Clinical Psychologist and Professor Emerita of Community Health Sciences at the University of Manitoba and Executive Director of Positive Discipline in Everyday Life, explain the biggest result of physical punishment.
Are you surprised by this information?
How has your experience growing up influenced your thoughts about physical punishment?
Positive guidance techniques
There are so many ways to support and guide children’s behaviour in a positive manner! It’s useful to be familiar with these techniques, especially in the heat of the moment!
Positive guidance can be direct or indirect.
Direct guidance refers to responding to challenging behaviours as they occur. The problem-solving approach is an example of direct guidance.
The problem-solving approach is a direct guidance technique commonly used by Early Childhood Educators, especially when children are quarreling. The technique helps them learn to manage their emotions, verbalize their feelings and come up with satisfactory solutions. Read about the problem-solving approach.
Watch this clip in which Marc, the ECE, tries out the problem-solving approach with two young boys who are quarreling over a play material.
In this example, there is a sudden interruption at the end which distracts the children from their disagreement. Marc acknowledges it and helps them find a solution quickly. How do you feel about how this situation was handled?
What if he had just stepped in and said something like ‘we have to share in daycare’. What might have happened?
Indirect guidance is another important aspect of positive guidance. Rather than responding to challenging behaviour after it happens, indirect guidance anticipates potential behaviour problems and is preventative. Indirect guidance reduces the need for direct guidance enormously and is an extremely useful skill for anyone involved with children. The next video shows several children in an outdoor treehouse at Kittiwake Daycare in Vancouver. playing and arguing to some extent. For the most part, they do not realize that anyone can see or hear them. As you watch the scene unfold, ask yourself if you would intervene at any point and, if you did, what you would do.
Now watch as caregiver, Melanie Walters, explains why observation is important and why she responded by not directly intervening when she thought a conflict was developing in the treehouse.
Now read about some examples of indirect guidance techniques.
Now let’s see how well you understand what you have learned so far about positive guidance.
On the next and final page of this module, we will look at why play is so important for children.
