The next thing though, is that, invariably, while the child is out exploring, there are going to be times when the child is either hurt, or doesn\u2019t feel good, or is hungry, or is scared, or something. And that, those things, that when the child is feeling those things, boy does that ever stop the exploration. And what it does is that it, it activates the child\u2019s attachment behaviour, the child stops exploring, and he needs to go back to the parent as a haven of safety. And when that happens, we talk about the child as being on the bottom of the circle. Needing to go back, needing to be welcomed back to the parent <\/p>\n\n\n\n
First of all, the first job is, of course, \u201cProtect me. If I\u2019m scared or if I\u2019m hurt or if I\u2019m sick\u201d or something like that. A parent needs to protect the child from the danger. In addition, of course, as parents, we all know that there\u2019s another kind of protection that we do, we protect the child from getting in trouble himself. So we\u2019re, in a sense we\u2019re protecting the child from himself because again, he doesn\u2019t have the wisdom yet, and so the parent has to provide that wisdom. So the first job then, when the child\u2019s on the bottom of the circle, is for the parent to welcome the child in–and some of us have a hard time doing that sometimes\u2014but to welcome the child in and first of all protect him, and then if the child is upset, to comfort him, to soothe him, or sometimes kids just need to come back for a quick recharge. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next job is, again, \u201cDelight in me\u201d. And the parent\u2019s job is, one of the parent\u2019s important jobs is, even if your child is upset and coming to you with some need that he has, for you to delight in your child, and indicate to your child, \u201cIt\u2019s fine for you to come to me when you\u2019re feeling this way\u201d, and \u201cI love being your parent\u201d, then that is really going to be helpful in the child\u2019s development. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then the final one is, \u201cHelp me organize my feelings\u201d. That\u2019s what we have on the graphic. What we really mean here is, \u201cHelp me organize my behaviour\u201d and \u201cHelp me organize my feelings\u201d. Well we all think about behaviour management, and discipline and making sure that our child is behaving appropriately, what a lot of us tend not to think about is \u201cHelp me organize my feelings\u201d. Because little kids, especially toddlers, little kids have a lot of very, very strong feelings, but they haven\u2019t, they\u2019re still very young, they haven\u2019t yet developed strategies for regulating those feelings from managing those feelings, for dealing with them and coping with them. So we think about the circle as representing the child\u2019s daily life. And he goes around the circle hundreds of times every day. And we know that if a child and parent can, can navigate that circle well, that most of the time, things go well when the child\u2019s on top of the circle, on the bottom of the circle, and the child\u2019s doing his or her job and the parent\u2019s doing his or her job, that that child is going to be secure. That child is going to have a secure attachment. And we know that secure attachment, if a child has a secure attachment, then that hugely increases the likelihood that that child is going to develop along a good developmental pathway. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The next thing though, is that, invariably, while the child is out exploring, there are going to be times when the child is either hurt, or doesn\u2019t feel good, or is hungry, or is scared, or something. And that, those things, that when the child is feeling those things, boy does that ever stop the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":39,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"template-text-only.php","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1792","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/content.scienceofecd.com\/transcript\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1792","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/content.scienceofecd.com\/transcript\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/content.scienceofecd.com\/transcript\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/content.scienceofecd.com\/transcript\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/39"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/content.scienceofecd.com\/transcript\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1792"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/content.scienceofecd.com\/transcript\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1792\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1793,"href":"https:\/\/content.scienceofecd.com\/transcript\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1792\/revisions\/1793"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/content.scienceofecd.com\/transcript\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1792"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}