Clinton – image of the child

One of the key concepts that I think is important for us as parents and as educators to have is what is our view of the child?  Do we see the child as an empty vessel that we kind of have to mold in to being a good person?  Or do we see the child as a co-creator, curious, excited about learning?  Because depending on how we view the child, we will interact in different ways.   

So take praise for example.  If we think that we have to reward the child for everything good, so that’s a model of the child, that we have to mold them by liking to get praise then they are going to be looking to see, well, should I do this?  Is anybody around to see me doing this?  So they may have more of an extrinsic reason, an outside reason for their behaviour.   

Whereas, when we see the child is competent, capable, generous by their own nature, then we won’t praise them, we will encourage their efforts.  You know, wow, when you did that I can see that Jean really liked that.  Rather than oh, good job, you’re so generous.   

There’s a wonderful researcher called Carol Dweck who talks about mindset.  And the reason I’m careful about praise, is her research shows that when you do praise children for being smart, for example, they work less hard.  They become fearful of not doing well.  But when you encourage them for their effort, “You worked hard at that” then they have what’s called a growth mindset. And this we see in three-year-olds, “I’m not going to try that anymore.  It didn’t work last time. I didn’t a high-five.  I didn’t get a sticker.”  Whereas, what we want to see is the growth mindset of, “Oh, this puzzle is hard.  Give me another one.  Can you come and help me here.  I think if we work together we can get this done.” And it’s our attitude towards the child that determines which one of those we fit in.  Do we want to mold them or do we want to create the garden for them to flourish?