Brussoni – getting lost

When we refer specifically to play where there’s chance of getting lost, we have to keep in mind that this is really a feeling that the child would get, that they have independence, that they can wander and explore things for themselves without a hovering adult.  And so this looks very different for different children.  So older children would be able to go to the corner store by themselves or take themselves to their local park, or say walk to school by themselves.  Whereas a younger child, obviously you can’t let them wander the neighbourhood.  But it would be, let’s say that there’s places in a play space that they could explore, where they can hide behind say some bushes or something like that, so they’re not; they  feel like they have that ability to kind of explore independently and to not have kind of the constant adult supervision even though their caregiver might know exactly where they are. 

One of the things that’s important too is that for risky play in general, but it might be highlighted for this one to make it more clear is that it’s not like all of a sudden from one day to the next you let a child go off and wander the neighbourhood. This is a process of several years where you’re gradually building up skills and abilities.  So for example, people often ask me “when can I let my child walk to school by themselves?”  And I say it’s very difficult to give an exact age because it’s not like, for example, between one age and another suddenly the child turns a certain age and all of the capabilities and cognitive abilities and safety information is; all pops in to their head.  No, it’s a gradual process where you’ve been out with your child, you’ve walked around the neighbourhood with them.  They get a sense of the neighbourhood and how to get places. They’ve learned how to cross streets and you’re comfortable with the streets that they would need to cross, that they have the skill to cross those streets to get to, you know, whether it is the local library or whatever.  And so you’ve had lots of instances where you’ve been able to observe them doing these kind of gradually more challenging activities and you feel comfortable that they can manage that.