Battle and Walden – the value of risky play

Marc:  Why risk is valuable – there’s many reasons why risk is valuable.  For me, what I find the most valuable is your self-esteem is built on risk.  You are defined by taking those chances.  When you were afraid of climbing up to that certain branch in a tree and you do it, you see yourself differently.  You come down from that tree differently.  You look in the mirror differently because of it.  So that to me is one of the biggest reasons for the value of risk.  But the second one that I always talk about is risk is where you learn to say no.  It’s where you learn to say no to your peers.  Lots of us have been in those situations where we’ve been with kids who can climb right to the top of a tree and we’ve been very comfortable when we’re younger saying ‘no, I don’t want to go higher’ and we were fine with that.  And I think that’s a really valuable thing about taking a chance or taking a risk is that’s when you really do say those things and you judge that risk in a very honest way.   

Melinda:  By taking risks you actually learn that feeling that you get when you are taking a risk which is actually the feeling you get between joy and fear.  So when you have that feeling, you know you’re wanting to take a risk but if all you’re feeling is fear, you know you’re just not ready to take that risk. 

Marc:  And you also learn that the world is not to be afraid of and that’s a thing I worry about with parents and caregivers and teachers not allowing kids to take a chance on something. We’re really sending a message to children that the world is scary and you should be very fearful of everything.  Well that’s going to have such negative impacts on their development and growth or wanting to explore or be curious about things.  The world isn’t scary.  You’ve got to learn how to work in this world and be able to assess those risks and open your arms to the opportunities that are out there in the world through risk and learning that through risk.  19:00:51;24   

Melina:  If we don’t allow children to experience risky play or taking a chance what ends up happening is they don’t end up trusting themselves to be able to do new things and new experiences.  Risky play is based on a foundation of trust.  In the beginning that caregiver/child attachment is really important for a child to want to explore and take chances and test out new skills that they want to learn.  So that foundation is really important for when children get older and they want to take these risks so that they feel confident in their own abilities.  It’s a trust between the child and the caregiver so the caregiver not only needs to trust the child to be able to do these skills but the child has to trust themselves and the caregiver to let them do that. 

Marc:  And there’s the big consequence, right, is that when we deny a child the right and I think it’s the dignity and the right to take a risk and take a chance – when we deny that right, we are denying our relationship with children.  When you were talking about the trust, I really like that bit because I often – see when caregivers don’t allow a child to take a chance, to have a risk within the program, it says more about the caregiver than the child because when I look at that I go, “you don’t trust that child.  You do not have an image of the child being strong and confident.  He’s not going to put himself in to a situation to get hurt.  So I think trust is probably the biggest consequence of what happens when we don’t allow it or the lack of trust when we don’t allow it. 

Melinda:  As a caregiver it’s that balance between that inner instinct to protect our young and that wanting or knowing that you need to pass on this competence and independence to our children.  

Marc:  And probably the most valuable is you learn something.  You know, you actually come away with some sort of a skill that you gain from taking that chance.